Brotherhood; when siblings become friends.

This post is sponsored by Everywhere Agency on behalf of Carter’s; however, all thoughts and opinions expressed are my own.

This is everything I’ve waited for. The moments I wished and dreamed and crossed everything for. 

H was obsessed with all things belly when I was pregnant. He was the center of my world for SO long. Three years – his whole life! He knew what life was like, just the two of us. He has memories of life before brother. He reminds me of them constantly. 

But this. The requesting to take brother on a walk. The asking to help with changing diapers and picking out clothes. The kindness and gentleness. I see his benevolence picking up on everything I’m trying to impart. 

I’ve always know that I wanted a bigger family. And yes, times right now are really hard. You’ll know, especially if you follow me on IG or watch my stories, you know how hard it is. There is a lot of screaming. A lot of juggling. A lot of struggling and bargaining and begging. 

However, something in the last week has changed. I can sense a shift in them -“the boys”. They are playing more independently. They are playing TOGETHER. There is far less pushing and shoving, and way more giggling and teaching. H has been showing J how he builds his towers, and J has been teaching H how he knocks them down.

No, life isn’t easy. Nor is it perfect. But it’s our own kind of happy. I am finally seeing the images and scenes I’ve dreamed about since finding out I was pregnant with H. 

I feel like as parents, we’re told to remember the firsts. With my first,  that seemed easy. Not so much with little brother. I’ve missed a lot of the big things. 

Life gets harder to keep track of after the first, there’s more to keep track of. More things to juggle. Milestones to try and write down. Carpools to keep track of. School to drive and pick up from. More play dates to schedule. 

But with these two, my goodness. There have been fights to break up, tears to wipe, and angst to mange. Being the older brother, H has majorly battled J’s addition to our family. He has asked us to take him back. He has told me he wants no more babies. And he has expressed extreme disinterest in ever being J’s friend. 

BUT. In these last few days. Last few weeks. The two of them have just made my heart soar.

J is playing more independently. And H is joining suit. Since J isn’t on me 24/7, H doesn’t seem to feel the need to be either. I am able to sit by and play with them, rather than play referee in their games. I am able to sit by and watch, as H helps J get his PJs on. While J grabs books for H to read to him. And while J sits and watches his big brother play. Instead of managing, I’m absorbing.  

I love this. I love it all. I love listening to H tell J all about what he’s doing. He explains it all so well. And so imaginatively. He tells him what every dinosaur is. He explains their sounds, and what they eat. He tells J all about their habits, and about how they became extinct. He fills my role as informer and protector. He loves him hard – but don’t ask him outright, because he’ll never admit it. 

In fact, if you ask him, he’ll tell you baby brothers are the worst.

He’ll tell you no more babies – unless it’s a baby sister. But I see him. I see his truth. And I am enamored with his actions. Yes, they still struggle and argue over the same toys. But it’s so much more than that now. 

It’s little brother repeating phrases and words. It’s baby brother copying body language. And it’s the little trying to become more like the big. 

This is their first.

Their first time acting as compatriots. As companions. The first time I’ve seen them as comrades, rather than foes. Instead of H refusing J’s wanting to play together, he helped build a compound for their dinosaurs to play. TOGETHER. And when J made the mistake of saying “carni” when H bought out his Allosaurus, he promptly corrected him that it was an omnivore. Because big brothers don’t let little brothers mistakenly categorize prehistoric beings. 

I’ve talked about this before, about how I love that we were able to give H a sibling. And how although he may not appreciate it now, he hopefully would in the future.

I think the future is finally showing it’s face. And we’re all pretty happy with the outcome. He is happy to teach and explain and show off his skills and knowledge. He is kind and patient, although quick with a palm to push little over when not listening. He is the best big brother we ever could have hoped for.

With You From the Start

Because of how sweet H has been lately, I asked if he’d like to go get a new outfit. He promptly responded with a noise resembling “yes”, and then followed up with “and Jude-y too?”. So off to Carter’s we went.

I told H he could pick ANY outfit he wanted, and then one for J. And do you know what he did? He walked around looking at all the fun new Spring toddler clothes, and found his dream. A T-Rex tee! But not just any tee, it has “REAL LIFE SPIKES ON IT, MAMA!” After finding the perfect dinosaur shorts and dinosaur sandals, he was done with his special new outfit. Be still my heart, that sweet boy found the exact same outfit in Carter’s baby clothes section. And declared he and J were going to match, “because that’s what buddies do”.

“Wherever you are on this amazing journey called parenthood, we’re with you. From first nights home to first nights away, and all the time in between”. Carter’s is With You From the Start. Because babies don’t keep, and that saying is hitting too close to home these days. Holding onto the little things is what their new campaign is all about. 

It seems like the days are going by faster than ever, and I’m trying to do just that. These once tiny little humans have taken me on the most amazing journey. From being a first time mother to H becoming a brother. From the first time my husband taught H how to swing a golf club to the first time H taught J how to roar like a dinosaur. Sharing their love, seeing their future together blossom. That’s what it’s all about.

For more info about Carter’s new program, head over to: With You From the Start.