Once in a blue moon, on a very very rare night, I’m so exhausted I fall asleep after putting H to bed. By the time my husband comes in to check on me around 7, I’m conked out.
The majority of the nights, however, I am still up at 2 when I go in to dream feed H, and then finally fall asleep around 4:30.
When he wakes up 2 to 3 hours later, I am so not ready to start my day, and want to crawl back into bed, but crazy Hulk baby needs food and space to run around and smash! By the time he’s ready for his 9am nap, I usually fall asleep while nursing and rocking him – whoops!
Sometimes I can drag myself out of his room and attempt to do my housewife-ly duties, but a lot of days I get back into bed, pull the covers up, and conk out. Nap while the baby naps, right? That’s what they told me to do, so that’s what I’m doing.
But then the guilt sets in that I’m taking an hour and a half / two hours of time where I should be cleaning up the piles of destruction that Hulk baby left in his wake, or doing laundry or getting myself ready for the day, or blogging or working from home, etc etc etc.
If I don’t nap and I do do something productive, I am a zombie the rest of the day and then so overtired by the time H’s bedtime rolls around I’m barely able to string together coherent sentences. I might be able to fall asleep then, but sometimes I miss my window and the cycle repeats again.
It’s like once I have some downtime after H and hubby go to sleep, all of a sudden I have a million things rushing through my mind – things I did or didn’t get around to doing that day, chores I need to get done, people I need to call, checks I need to send, estimates I need to confirm, and the list goes on and on and on. Why is it that at the time of day where I am supposed to be the most relaxed, I am the most high-strung and stressed? It’s like that picture that’s been floating around Facebook and Pinterest :
The hubs can go into the bedroom, lay down, and is asleep within minutes, even when he’s so-called “not even tired but I have to be up early”. He’s even guilty of falling asleep in the middle of a conversation or two while we’re rehashing our days or making plans! He’s lucky he’s cute and I kinda-sorta love him a lot, and is an awesome dad, because otherwise I might have to regulate.
Not that he’d notice, because the man sleeps. like. a. rock. He sleeps like a hibernating bear in a warm and toasty cave. Aint nothin (including a crying baby) wakin his butt up until his alarm goes off (and even that doesn’t work sometimes). I’m so jealous!
WHY CAN’T I DO THAT?!
At this point I’m rambling (because my brain is mush from running on approximately 2-3 hours of sleep a night), but all this awake-ness (is that even a real word?) has left me more than my fair share of time to think thoughts. Thoughts on motherhood, thoughts on wifedom, thoughts on life. Thoughts on thoughts on thoughts. I’ve been writing a lot of them down, and while most are incoherent and jumbled and don’t make much sense come morning, it’s pretty cathartic to get it all written down and helps to clear my mind so I can fall asleep.
I’m thinking of starting back up a weekly post on the ramblings of a self-inflicted sleep-deprived mom, so stay tuned!
Do you have a hard time getting to sleep?
Any tricks of the trade that help you fall asleep?
Help a sista out!