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April 19, 2016

Truthful Tuesday // Postpartum #BeautyImperfected

Uncategorized
Truthful Tuesday // Postpartum #BeautyImperfected
A 3 day new H and mom, freshly home from the hospital. I was totally unaware of what I was getting myself into, but I was so happy to be home finally after way too much time in the hospital. I took this picture as soon as we walked in the house and came downstairs. My body had not bounced back like all the movies had promised, I was too sore to sit, my mind was in a fuzzy haze over everything that had happened in the last week, but I didn’t care. He was HERE. He was home. He was ours.  
I have never posted this picture of us anywhere online, nor have I ever shown it to anyone, because I felt like I looked gross and definitely not the perfect image I was seeing of other freshly postpartum moms. I didn’t feel as though this was a beautiful picture by any means, and I was afraid of what some might say about the body that had just birthed an almost 9 pound baby less than 3 full days before. This photo is not beautiful in the typical sense – I am not wearing any makeup, my hair is probably on day 4 of not being washed, my body was still swollen from the epidural, my belly is still very visible – I could go on and on.

When I first looked at this picture, all I saw was what was *wrong* with my body. Two years and three months later, however, looking deeper with a fresh set of eyes, I see the pure joy and love that is being portrayed through my facial features. My eyes are swollen and dark from the lack of sleep, but they sparkle with the fresh imprint of new motherhood, and a baby that feels like I’ve been waiting forever for. He didn’t care if my hair was curled, or my eyelashes blackened with mascara – he was just happy to have a full belly, a warm chest to nuzzle up to, and a familiar voice to put a face to. 
The early days of parenting were streaked with mess and confusion, but they were also characterized by the beautiful beginnings of our relationship as a mother and son, and a body that was strong and able to nourish him for almost 2 years.
Beautiful may have become a phrase I’ve used less and less to describe myself personally, in a physical sense, over the past few years, but it has also become a word I associate with motherhood and my bond with our son. 
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Comments (11)

  1. What a beautiful picture of a moment between mother and son. As moms it can be so easy to focus negatively on how our bodies changed for motherhood rather than embrace it.

    Reply
    Robyn Proctor Hinkle - April 20, 2016
    1. That is so true! I'm glad I went back through and found it – that look on my face says it all! 🙂

      Reply
      Shannon - April 20, 2016
  2. You feel feel better about yourself in a few years when you look back, I promise!

    Reply
    scarlett.beautiliciousblog - April 20, 2016
    1. That is so good to hear 🙂 I already focus less on the physical aspect, and instead look at the feeling that I am exuding!

      Reply
      Shannon - April 20, 2016
  3. Girl you look fabulous in that picture! I'm glad you can look back now and see the happiness and see the proud new mom and baby. Being a new mom can be such a difficult experience, especially with your emotions and hormones running crazy, but be proud of what you accomplished and the beauty in this photo!

    Reply
    Health, Love & Fire - April 20, 2016
    1. Yes! The hormones were definitely unexpected (thankfully I'm more aware for this time around!), and I wish I hadn't been so hard on myself, but I'm glad I went back through and can look at it with fresh eyes!

      Reply
      Shannon - April 20, 2016
  4. I *love* this photo! I'm so sorry to hear that you haven't wanted to show it to anyone. Both you and H look fabulous and happy and real.

    Reply
    WSUSara - April 20, 2016
    1. Even Zach was like "When did you take that?!". My vanity took a hit for sure, I wasn't expecting to still have such a bump and be so swollen afterwards, and I think mentally, the fact that I didn't get the birth "i wanted" made it a little worse. I'm so so SO glad I go back and look at photos though, so I can see the feelings that were so raw and real. Even looking at this picture makes me feel happy again, and makes me so excited for the birth of this little one!

      Reply
      Shannon - April 20, 2016
  5. OMG. I love this. I had such a hard time accepting my post-partum body in the first few month. It was all a haze and looking back now … at all those imperfect pictures of early motherhood (with unwashed hair, dark circles, poofy cheeks, a few to many rols) I don't see all the imperfections anymore but am able to look past it and to the joy in my eyes and the tiny human I created. You look stunning in this picture and it's easy to tell just how happy you are.

    Reply
    Jasmin Saunders - April 20, 2016
  6. <3<3<3 I LOVE this!!! You put into words so much of what I feel!

    Reply
    Susannah - April 22, 2016
  7. I disagree. This picture is absolutely flawless! You look beautiful and radiant, and the little one is just so cute, lying there against your chest. <3

    Reply
    Sahar - May 16, 2016

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About me

Shannon

Shannon

I'm a coffee loving sometimes-blogger, wife, and stay at home mom to an almost 4 year old tornado of a toddler and chunky one year old boy! I share my honest motherhood moments, favorite family goodies, and the helpful hints I've discovered through my journey and with the aid of my 'tribe'.

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  • This ❤️
You know what I wish someone had prepared me for when it comes to parenting?
The fact that you can experience 5,000 emotions within a less than 20 hour wake time.
But this was a pretty amazing way to be woken up on Saturday morning. Messy faces, bed heads, eye wrinkles and all ❤️
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  • I was too busy to get out of my pajamas today because y’all Y’ALL I had a REAL LIVE HUMMINGBIRD IN MY HOUSE.
Which is obsessively documented in my stories 😂
It came in our master when it started to rain, then got stuck in the skylights. I legit spent all morning trying to brainstorm a way to get him down safely but the lacrosse stick that J used to wake me up was too short + we got rid of all our ladders.
I left out sugar water to try + coax him down, opened all the sliding doors (despite the rain 😬), + moved the boys out of the room so he’d hopefully try to stop flying away from our insanity (although I don’t blame him 😂).
Then when he DID come down, he landed on my favorite couch on my favorite slings + the boys + I just sat there for a while in awe of how beautiful + how still this beauty was.
I started getting nervous because he wasn’t moving. So my highly emotional self grabbed some new sugar water, went in + tried to give him some motivation to get up + be strong.
When Z got home from work, he walked into our room + ran over, since all he could see was me hunched over, shaking from sobbing in front of open doors while it’s raining freaking cats + dogs outside. I was balling while holding Mr 🐦 - bird in one hand (safely + gently wrapped in a dish towel) + spoonful of sugar water in the other.
I can only imagine the thoughts in his head when he saw me holding this bird, trying to get it to drink, muttering sweet nothings while blaming myself.
He convinced me to put the bird down + we left the room so I ran to the couch to play 17 games of sudoku + approx 11 of candy crush, + all of a sudden I hear - SHAN! He’s gone!
YOU GUYS THE BIRD FLEW AWAY! He was ok!!
So I cried some more.
So yeah, this is 25w 3d 🤰🏻
You cry over birds, don’t wash your face, + spend all day taking care of two children that refuse to wear clothes + play pet doctor 🤷🏻‍♀️
#ResidentCrazyPregnantLady
  • True life: I was going to get "IG ready", but realized in the time it would take to do my hair, makeup, get us all dressed and ready and the marshmallows out for bribery, we could have a real meal I didn't have to order online. And goodness knows I have my hands full enough with these two (and a half 🤰)!
I'm all for outsourcing, and @HelloFresh is the bee's knees when it comes to my too tired to be a Pinterest mom self. We get real, delicious recipes that are easy to make at home, even if you're a total Worst Cooks of America level chef and have a tendency to burn frozen pizzas in the oven 🤣
Use my code SHYNNZ80 to get $80 off your first month of @HelloFresh, and head to my stories for more!
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Ya'll know I'm a huge proponent of getting the kids in the kitchen to encourage them to be a part of the entire cooking process and opening them up to trying new foods and flavors.
Swipe to see my little rabbit "helping" me cook, haha. Yup, that's a raw green pepper!
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Are you more of a delivery or home made chef?
#hellofreshpartner #hellofreshpics #freshfriends #getcooking
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  • Is Valentine’s Day a big deal in your home?
I remember spending FOREVER making Zach bacon roses in the first home we bought together 8 years ago! Plus a beautiful parmesan + oregano crusted tilapia dinner with sautéed veggies + chocolate mousse from scratch for dessert 🙌🏻 But 9 years together + things are looking a little different these days.
This will be the 4th (5th?) year in a row he has to travel for work. So the boys + I snuck over to the @RalphsGrocery down the street to make him a little goody bag for the plane ride back East. I think it’s safe to say the boys know their dad’s sweet tooth is strong 😂 but I did convince them to throw in some healthier choices too, ha.
While J may have slept through it all, H was a huge help, looking super cool in his shades indoors (because… why not?!). Right before we checked out, he insisted on buying mama some flowers. But, you know, with my own money, because he conveniently left his piggy bank at home haha.
Thank goodness for these sweet boys + our Ralphs that has everything we need for every occasion - including free curbside pickup YAS.
(Thanks for all your help choosing in my stories earlier!)
#LoveMyRalphs #RalphsPartner
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  • 24w1d 🤰🏻
And I officially think it’s time to retire this tank 😂 #BellyLikeWhoa
BUT we have reached our first viability milestone!!
Oh you sweet rainbow babe. You brothers love you so much already it literally makes me weepy.
[Swipe left to see the CUTEST video]
H loves to rub, and hug and kiss “his” baby “sister” all day long. “Mama, when I rub my head like this I can feel her kick!”
J loves to slap my belly constantly 🙈 (welcome to the family, little one - you better get used to it haha) BUT he also loves to loudly shout “I LOVE YOU BABY” every chance he can.
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Names feel REALLY hard this time around - what are some of your favorites?
(Reminder: we aren’t finding out the sex, so we need “boy” and “girl” suggestions!)
We love strong, classic names, and basically haven’t been able to agree on anything. And knowing how bad I am at making actual decisions, it could take the entire 15-16+ weeks I have left 🙈
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  • “Mama, here MY baby!” 😍
• G I V E A W A Y •
I’ve shared about @loveyourmelon before, and today I’m super excited to team up to give one of you one of our favorite beanies!
50% of all their net profits are donated to their Love Your Melon fund to fight pediatric cancer ❤️
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To enter:
1. Give this photo a like!
2. Tag a friend 
3. Make sure you’ve followed both myself, @shynnz + @loveyourmelon!
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Bonus entry:
Share this photo to your stories, tagging us and encouraging your friends to enter as well.
Like my 3 last 3, and let me know you did!
Giveaway will end in 3 days, on 2/8 and a winner will be announced via this post within 24 hours.
Good luck! And make sure to head over to #LoveYourMelon to support their incredible efforts in the fight against childhood cancer ❤️
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  • I still pinch myself daily over this truly being a reality ❤️
Woke up to the most beautiful @thebouqsco flowers on my doorstep and it got me a little misty eyed. I am so thankful for the sweet people in my life. All of you who have supported me when I’ve shared our struggles. All of the incredible woman that have offered support, words of kindness, and an ear whenever I’ve needed.
To the women that share their pain, their hurt, but also their joys and victories. To the other parents offering solidarity when it’s 2am and you’re in bed crying because your 13 month old still hasn’t slept through the night, or your PGAL mind is in overdrive as you awaken in an anxiety filled panic. This is for you ❤️
Happy Galentine’s Day, from this sweet rainbow baby and I ❤️
#bouqspartner #Bouqlove
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  • For all my babies - the one in my belly and the two squeaky cleans that I just had to chase around the room.
#ad we’ve trusted @mustelausa for almost 5 years now, and there’s no one else I’d trust these little dudes’ sensitive skin to. Made with avocado and schizandra berries to keep their skin soft and hydrated while also fragrance free, it’s like Mustela’s extra sensitive line was made for my boys.
Experience Mustela’s responsibly sourced natural ingredients for yourself: use code SHANNON20 to save now.
#ForMyBaby and for yours ❤️
#byebyesensitiveskin
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  • 23w1d 🤰🏻
And as I’m tying this my belly is visibly moving from our little rainbow babe!
Tomorrow is our meeting with the specialist for the additional ultrasound of baby’s brain and face. I’m staying positive, and most importantly staying off google. But if I’m being honest I’m just really, really nervous.
All day today I have felt like a total crazy person. When Zach called at lunch I think he could tell I wasn’t doing well, and he ended up cancelling the rest of his day and coming home to help calm me down. He let me ramble out all the crazies, and assured me he just knew it would all be ok. Times like this when my anxiety is on overdrive, I am so thankful for his calm and rationale.
Keeping my fingers crossed all we hear tomorrow is good things.
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I also had my first official appointment with my home birth midwife earlier this week!! She is super excited the OB that she works with saw that my placenta previa has cleared 🙌🏻 and has total confidence in me having a successful home birth!!
She was just as amazing as I remembered in our interview, and I know she’s going to be an incredible asset for the rest of this pregnancy.
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Still on my sour gummies kick, but lately rotisserie chicken and salad, with a giant bowl of edamame and a side of fresh sliced mango are my heaven. Although I surely wouldn’t turn down a brownie or ube cheesecake if offered 😂
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